Well, where do I start with this short update? Umm, well, I’ve had a bit of a backsliding in my recovery. I had been doing pretty well at getting out of the house, socializing, getting important things done, just sort of approaching some tiny iota of a normal life. But the depression started to sink in again. I did see my psychiatrist again recently, and he said with great regret that we cannot up my anti-depressants dose because any more of what I am taking, and it would interfere with my heart health. So that sucked, but at least another of my other medications, this time Risperdal, was cut in half. Which was great, because it means I practically don’t need it anymore; the doctor said that the dose that he’s reduced my prescription to is not even really considered a theraputic dose, because it is so small.

College starts up again for me on Tuesday. Unfortunately, I am not taking too many courses this semester due to lack of funds for books, so I am just taking Intermediate Algebra, Art Appreciation, and E-Commerce.

I am going to need to fill my time, so there’s the more usual stuff I do, plus I recently left a message for my local Historical Society to ask if they have any need for volunteers (which made the Maternal Unit very happy, I might add). I have volunteered there in the past, and I loved it. I am also going to offer to build and maintain a website for the society if they wish. I’m an intermediate-level amateur genealogist, and a History major at the local college, and of course I live here and know the area well, have website building experience and the necesary software/hardware, so I am the perfect person to do this for them. They have never had a website of their own. All they would need to do is give their input into the content and apperance.

Anyway, this is it for now. I am going to be doing some research into a very serious situation with the California budget crisis. The Schwarzenegger administration is intending to callously deny Medi-cal patients access to psychological help! This affects me, because I AM A MEDI-CAL PATIENT! It makes me boiling mad, and we need to do something about this…so stay tuned for a blog post within the couple days to come.

Love,
Annaleigh

Ok, I finally got around to it, I filled out the Survivor Needs Meme! It took some time and thought, and actually, I might tape a printout of these somewhere here at my desk, because I prefer this format instead of the “New Year’s Resolution.” Thanks to Marj for inventing this meme, and for tagging me!

My Survivor Needs

As a survivor trying to thrive:

1. I need patience and understanding.
2. I need personal discipline, that can only come from within myself!
3. I need to know that I am OK, that I am worth something, that there is nothing wrong with me, and that I can and should be accepted for who I really am.
4. I need to take responsibility for my healing and make decisions and plans based on my best interests.
5. I need to take time to do things that I enjoy, especially things that have nothing to do with school or survivor activism.
6. I need to take inventory of my personal attitudes, and change whatever I can for the positive, if it needs that change.
7. I need to invest more time in self-care and my health.
8. I need to try and be more considerate with others, even sometimes they push me to my personal limits.
9. I need to learn more about and learn to assert my own personal boundaries.
10. I need to continue to open myself to others, and encourage them to be open themselves, so that they can hopefully know a greater freedom, like I’ve come to know.
11. I need to learn how to plan, shop for, and prepare healthy meals.
12. I need to continue to try to be open to socializing with others, maintaining friendships, and perhaps even maybe try dating again (yikes).
13. I need to practice better personal internet safety.
14. I need to tend to my spiritual needs, including finding a church enviroment that will be nourishing.
15. I need to consider the fact that despite the “sense of foreshortened future” feature of PTSD, I may very well have a future, and it is OK to dream, to set goals, and to work to achieve these things.
16. I need to make the effort to look out after others (Maternal Unit, cats, etc.)
17. I need to indulge that childlike side in me that remains, once in a while.
18. I need to work towards my healing, so that one day, I can be a parent, a great, loving parent!
19. I need to renew my committments to my huge extended family, and to my friends.
20. I need to develop a much more positive body image.
21. I need to be gentle with myself and stop saying some of the terrible stuff I say about myself out loud!
22. I need to find outlets for creativity and use them!
23. I need to pay close attention to what my psychiatrist recommends.
24. I need to continue my survivor activism, and activism in general.
25. I need to stay in, and ultimately finish, college!

And, I also want (but don’t necessarily need and/or might not ever have):

1. I want a vacation away from this town!
2. I want more hours in the day (yeah, I know, it’ll never happen).
3. I want my college to add more Sociology, Political Science, Psychology, and English courses to their online schedule.
4. I want to attend a concert! I rarely am able to leave this rotten town where there is nothing in the way of music, but I won’t give up hope…
5. I want to learn how to knit and crochet.

I will tag someone later…it would be easier if I had my blogroll going, still had time to read other survivor blogs, etc. Maybe sometime in the future I can update this meme and tag someone then!

OH! **Please note that if you’re reading this, you do not have to be tagged to do this meme at your blog and tag others to join the fun!

Hi there, and welcome to the January 2008 edition of the Carnival Against Child Abuse! I apologize for the delay; I’ve been ill these past couple of days. All and all we got a good collection of posts, with a special emphasis on Healing & Therapy! I like that, sounds like a good way to start off the year!

I’ve opted out of adding a carnival entry of my own, this time. I will try and submit one to the February edition!

With out further adieu, here come the posts:

Advoacy and Awareness

Book Girl writes movingly about affection, abuse, and touch, as it pertains to herself and others with disabilities, in Touchy Subject, at her blog Falling Off My Pedestal.

Book reviewer James K. Bashkin warns bibliophiles, and everyone in general, about a crime novel he believes (and I would say with very good reason) exploits violence against children, in On, Off: A Novel by Colleen McCullough. A serial killer terrorizes Connecticut in the turbulent 1960’s at his book blog Nearly nothing but novels.

You will want to check out Kevin’s informative post Signs of Child Abuse at More4Kids Children’s Safety.

Aftermath

For our single entry dealing with the aftermath, Lisa Dickson writes about the gang rape case of a ten year old Australian Aboriginal girl, and how poorly the system handled it, in Children cannot consent, at Imaginif child protection became serious business.

Healing & Therapy

Megan Bayliss has a post at Imaginif about how Imaginif is looking to financially and emotionally support an Australian child abuse survivor in 2008 directly, instead of donating to charity.

April_optimist shares some healing steps she’s taken in life, which she sums up as Pragmatic Optimism, and has posted at her blog The Thriver’s Toolbox.

Mike at Child Abuse Survivor has submitted a great review of Nancy Richards’ book Heal & Forgive: Forgiveness in the Face of Abuse.

Also, Nancy, the author of the previously mentioned book, enters into blog carnivals with a very good post on Self-Parenting, which is posted at her blog Heal and Forgive. Welcome, Nancy!

Marj’s submission this month is I’ve Created A Survivor Needs Meme, at her blog Survivors Can Thrive!. She tagged me, and I still need to fill it out…and will do so soon!

Alex Marlin rounds out the Healing & Therapy posts with his Do You Know If Your A Loving Parent?, at his blog Life Improvement Tips for Thin and Small People.

In the News

Marcella Chester writes about how Family Of Suspect Claims Young Babysitters Sexually Assaulted 27 Year Old Man at her blog abyss2hope: A rape survivor’s zigzag journey into the open.

Survivor Stories

And finally, Patricia Singleton writes about how she (and her family) kept secrets about incest, at her blog Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker.

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That does it for this month’s edition of the Carnival Against Child Abuse! Again, I apologize for the delay. I hope you all enjoyed this month’s edition, and I hope to be blogging again myself really soon.

Have a great 2008!

Annaleigh

Hi there everybody! Once again, I suppose I have egg on my face due to not keeping up with blogging. *blush* It’s not too bad, though! lol

First off, Megan at Imaginif posted the Christmas edition of the Carnival Against Child Abuse.

Secondly, I am hosting the January 11, 2008 edition of the carnival. You may still submit an article! Just go here to the form.

Shame on me! I really have fallen behind with blogging. Well, I suppose my 2008 goals will include to implement more blogging time.

Annaleigh

Good morning everyone,

I am hoping to sit down and write a real entry about something, but in the meantime, all you Ohio people, I’ve got an important post for y’all!

It seems that some pro-pedophile activists are having a rally at the Ohio Statehouse to try and influence legislators into changing the law that requires sex offenders to register which is insane!

Women Against Sexual Predators Ohio chapter has info on their counter-protest. You may also want to check out Fathers-4-Justice. They seem like a pretty good organization; they fight for the rights of children, fathers, mothers, and grandparents in family court, and they’re supposed to be at this counter-protest.

Please check this out if you live in Ohio!

It has come to my attention that there is a new version of WordPress out; which includes security fixes. So soon I will have to make the change and upgrade.

Cross your fingers that all goes well. Last time I did any serious modification to the blogs on this webspace (I have another one that I’m not using), I ended up losing everything I had at Blessed Fearscapes and had to begin all over again. So wish me luck.

I hope your evening is going well. I am ok, just sitting here listening to punk rock and spacing out a bit!

Hi there everybody!

I know I’ve posted recently, but before that hadn’t posted in many months. I’ve been battling the old familiar demon of depression. It got to where I couldn’t get out of the bed in a given day until the afternoon. It took me pulling an all-nighter and not going to sleep the night before, but I managed to make a recent appointment with my psychiatrist. He cut my medication doses in half. Up until then I just wasn’t functioning; I was constantly in a medicated stupor. Believe it or not, this has actually helped me! I’m functioning considerably better, and no longer sleeping all day. I’m getting things done and actually enjoying myself.

I must thank Haullie of Voices of Strength for her much needed encouragment, and for serving as the kick in the keister that I needed. We both have been struggling with depression as of late. Because we both reside in the same town, not too far from each other, we’ve made up our minds to hang out at a nearby park for some fresh air and socialization once or twice a week, as well as some other positive changes we’re hoping to make.

I’ve begun to realize that my life just cannot revolve solely around college and activism; so I’ve begun to persue both old and new hobbies. Some of the things I’ve enjoyed for a long time but have rarely done over the past 3 years or so include genealogy research, writing, and photography. So I’m exploring those pasttimes again. I also want to learn how to get into knitting, beading, painting, and crocheting. And I also enjoy blogging here, so I’ve set up a blog on my personal webspace where I can blog about anything and everything. I just need to start using it!

Finally, my local activism is going well. There is new interest in the support group that Haullie and I are attempting to get started. And as part of our commitment to pulling ourselves out of our ruts, we are going to persue that doggedly!

As Waters Passing By is in desprate need of an update. I just haven’t had time lately. My college semester is about to come to an end, so I am going to try to find time for a major update sometime between late December and mid January.

That’s it for now!

Love,
Annaleigh

Hi everybody! Just a quick drop in here. The October 2007 edition of the Carnival Against Child Abuse.

Included is my very recent entry on the latest New Zealand statistics on the CSA of girls. It also appears that I will be hosting the carnival again in January of next year!

One out of every four New Zealand girls is sexually abused.

On the one hand, this is not particularly surprising to me. Here in the United States, it’s either estimated at 1 in every 3 of girls, or 1 in every 4 of girls in the U.S. are abused by the time they’re 16.

It is still unacceptable, however! That is an overwhelming amount of survivors for a country that is not that populated as the United States. I urge you all to get involved in your communities to end child sexual abuse. I would like to point you to my volunteer activity suggestions. (I know I need to spruce up that section some more; I just rarely have the time these days!) I would like to see ALL of you get involved. Whether you’re a New Zealander or not; whether you’re female or male; regardless of your ethnic background, or your religion, it matters not! Action is a must, all over this planet!

We could throw statistics out there all we want; but it would still fail to convey the pain, suffering, and destruction experienced by survivors of child sexual abuse.

Today I call on you to look around your settings and ask how you can make a difference!

When I read things like this, it just makes me want to work harder to do my part.

Hi everybody! Yeah, a new blog entry and it’s not here five million years after the last entry!

I am very pleased to announce that the 1st anniversary Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is up at Survivors Can Thrive, and running! Included is my recent post Father’s Day, forgiveness, and healing..

I am also very proud and honored to have been among those awarded with Top Carnival Participant because of my regular submissions to the carnival as well as the stint at hosting the February 2007 edition which I enjoyed so much! She also had some awesome things to say about me as a person and as a blogger, and if this blog had a blushing smiley I would use it! Thanks so much, Marj. You are so awesome. All of you.

This edition was also dedicated to the memory of Jodi Larson, the artist and CSA survivor behind the Show of Hands art project. Sadly, she passed away last month due to cancer. Her memory lives in all those she touched.

I am pleased to say that you will see me doing so more blogging soon. I have some topics and posts already in mind, and I will continue to participate in Marj’s carnival, as well as Marcella Chester’s Carnival Against Sexual Violence.