Male Child Physical Abuse Survivor
abused. I was emotionally and physically abused by my step-father as a
kid. To my knowledge I was never sexually abused, but I do have suspicions
about him with other kids. I have no memory of him trying it with me, but I do
have some blank spots in my memory. That is not saying much; I don't remember what I had for dinner last night. I should
start at the beginning here. My mom was 15 when she got pregnant with me. My Dad was 17 or 18. Neither one was prepared for
adult life raising a kid, so their
marriage didn't last more than a few months after I was born. My mom found a guy to
marry soon after that. My half-sister was born 2 years later. My childhood
until about 6 years old was ok. When I was in 2nd grade I was adopted by
"George". It was not my choice. I was told by my mother that my real family
would beat and torture me if I went around them. My mom says she doesn't remember it, but I do. This was nothing but lies.
My biological family were not allowed to contact me because of non-payment of child support.
After I was adopted, things changed. I was screamed at everyday. I ws beaten with belts and fists for anything he didn't
like. My mom was verbally abused and some physical, but most was reserved for me. She divorced him when I was 10 and she
left. My sister and I wee left behind. They each tried to play us off the other parent in a war. I signed a paper saying I
wanted to live with him when I was 12 because I was trained to think of her as the enemy. One big reason I stayed was
because he was always gone and I could be alone. He was heavy into drugs and booze and was always broke. He made
about $500 a week then which was really good money for the mid-eighties. He was always late on bills because of this. He
would be drunk and borrow my paper-route money so that I would come up short every month. He would deny taking it because
he couldn't remember it. He would stay gone for days on a bender leaving me with no food in the house. If I went to other
family members for something to eat and he found out, then I was beaten for embarrassing him. He would always say he was
sorry after it, but I knew better. I caught him and his brother playing with each other in his room. They didn't see me,
but I knew it was time to get out. His nephew displayed all the signs of sexual abuse. Bedwetting, getting in trouble at school, violence against weaker kids. He
eventually went to prison for rape. When I left, I moved in with my mom and sister. My aunt got me in contact with my
real dad and that family has been in my life ever since then. I was 13 or 14 when this happened. After the step family
found out about me going to my real family, then they cut-off all contact with me. That was fine with me because very few
of them treted me like family anyway. The only thing I miss from this time is that my step-dad believed in me that I would
succeed with my school work and my life in general. I went on to college but had to drop-out because I wasn't prepared for
it. I just wanted to get away from my mom's 3rd worthless husband. I have heard from credible sources that "george" wore
pantyhose to work everyday and had people set him up on gay dates when I lived there. My mom says I broke his nose when I
was 13 to defend myself, but I don't remember it. After college I lived about 2 hours away from all of this. I got a call
that he was dead of an apparent heartattack. There was no atopsy, but he weighed about 80 lbs in his casket. I believe it
was either the drugs or aids tha killed him. I looked at how pathetic he was and wondered why I was afraid of him as a
child. I haven't really had any meaningful relationships in life with women. I am not in anyway homosexual. I am not
judging those that are though.
It is important for me to say that I forgave him in the casket. I carried around alot of hate until then. That hate was
bottled up and served me no purpose. You wont hurt the other person with your hate; it stays with you. My point is that I
grew up on my own and learned to be myself. He was very racist and wouldn't allow us to watch any tv shows with black people in it.
I would always sneak and watch Sanford and Son, Cosby, and Richard Pryor. I was a racist until I was about 16 until I woke
up. My escape from all from this was reading as many books as possible.
To sum up this; I have failed at everything in life and have no talentthat I have found yet. I will succeed at something
though. I think all this has been to prepare me for something great. If anyone wants me to elaborate on any of this, then
let me know. Sorry for writing a rambling book.
As Waters Passing By > Survivor Stories > Anonymous: This Was