Once upon a time there lived a beautiful little girl that was very much loved & expected by two wonderful & gifted parents.
The Mommy could not wait to see her little girl because she would love her & play with her every day.
The Daddy could not wait to be his little girl’s Prince,
Her knight in shining armor & be named by his daughter Daddy's girl...
Then reality stepped in... & the little girl not only had a rude awakening but in all reality… No childhood at all!
The little girl's first memory was of screaming, darkness & biting on drinking glasses until they broke... in her mouth...
she later found out while training as a crisis counselor that in rare extreme cases when a child is so traumatized, they
do that so as to relieve the violence they witness around them in the only way they know possible...
Only God knows what she was seeing!
She never knew why Daddy hit her the first time, because she was in the living room reading the comics on a Sunday morning
her bottom in the air while lying on the floor, she heard her daddy walk up behind her & didn't know why until he started
beating her bum with a riding crop (which is what she found out way later, she just assumed it was a sharp belt......& to
this day she still wont read the Sunday morning paper comics).
The first time she got punched in the jaw was because she had set the table wrong, you see the blade is supposed to face
the plate not the other way around, she never made that mistake again.
If a quarter did not bounce on the sheets of a made bed it was not made right & would need to be made again & again
until it would.
All the rest of the beatings she received she never really knew Why she was getting them.
She didn’t know when the sexual abuse started because she assumed all daddy's slept in bed with their daughters. She never
knew any other way.
She just knew She was the oldest & she never as the big sister would allow what was happening to her happen to them
When she was first married Her dad visited & brought along her younger sister.
He brought them both to the Colonel’s quarters at the army base where he was stationed & that night while her sister & her
slept, he came into their room ,climbed into her bed & knowing that she would never allow her little sister to see what he
did with her, he had sex with her. He had used her trusting big sister instincts to use her once again in a way he should
only have done with his wife.
Later when she found out she was pregnant, during the whole pregnancy she had no idea who’s baby she was carrying… Her
father’s or her husband’s.
She still doesn‘t!.
During one beating, her dad broke down her apartment door & began punching her, each time she fell down, he pulled her
back up by her long hair, until finally he left her on the floor….. & kicked her in the face.
She had just moved back from North Carolina & during her stay there, had helped the crisis center where she worked as a
volunteer Crisis Counselor put on an ABC Special on the signs to look for in a child who has been sexually abused at
home & tips to avoid Date Rape!
That was the first time that she was visited in the middle of the night by Police officers telling her someone had seen the
show, called up threatening to kill her if she continued with the show & she was put under ground for the first of many
times until she got her new identity.
SO here she was back in her home town & here was her dad beating the crap out of her in front of her four year old child
who was begging: she was BEGGING GRANDPA to stop hurting her Mommy; &... when she fell to the floor; for the last time… he
She doesn’t remember her daughter cradling her head in her lap, she doesn’t remember how anyone got there to take them
to the hospital, but…she does remember the Doctor jokingly telling her that if she was planning on playing football, to
use a ball & not her face.
When she told this doctor that she had not planned on her dad kicking her in the face, he was embarrassed & asked who
it was. She bravely told him, but… because her dad was famous in that town, he did not believe her & had the audacity to
ask her what she had done to deserve such correction…
She NEVER told anyone anything…ever again!
She knew then; that the word "Family" meant pain... & She vowed NEVER to be part of anyone’s FAMILY ever again… ...
She began making up fairy tales of how everything was going in her life…. To help her get through each day.
In 1998, She was raped by a stranger three days after giving her life to Jesus,
She remembers her mom saying that she must have been God's reject because if she had not been a reject He would not have
allowed her to be raped by a stranger who had drugged her with an odorless drug.
The case took years to get to court & right before going in… the Victim advocate told her that all she had to do was tell
her side of the story & the rapist would get X amt of years in jail, only in the state she lived in, The rapist can get
off on a technicality & he did.
She could have lived with that, it’s what this Judicial Judge did next, that changed her life as she knew it…FOREVER…..
He walked over to the rapist & put his right hand on the rapist’s left shoulder congratulating him for winning his case
in his court room . … To say she was floored is putting it mildly…
Seven months later her husband told her she should report this Judge to the Governor of the State they lived in & then
two days after she did, she was attacked... & left for dead in her drive way... She had discovered that she was their
She knew too much being the wife of a dirty law Enforcement officer. She was a liability… but… AS it was….. He never
counted on her relationship with God.
He never knew she would call out to Him & that God would save her.
SO you see, she is an incest survivor, She was the youngest one in her class the only question she asked the counselor was
why she was the youngest one there, & she said God must have special plans for you my dear, She did not feel special then,
but She now realized God did.
She was His Personal Social Worker.
She has always & will always be watching over the Underdog, so to speak.
She fully believes in Paying forward & helping out even when she only has a little.
She feels her Time is the most valuable gift she can give….
SO each & every lap wrap she makes, She makes with love for the survivor who will be receiving it.
She feels that when she is out in the world God will let her know who needs prayers & so on...
She keeps her ears open for that still small voice... & She does as He asks...
Which incidentally is how she finds each & every person who needs to hear her story of survival.
She has a theory that God puts them in her path for a reason..
She totally believes in that.
Well, Now you all know, I am an incest survivor, a child sexual abuse survivor, a survivor of rape, domestic violence &
And …..I am A child of God.
The fairy tale is what I pretended was going on in our family ,because it was the only way I could survive my childhood..
I have forgiven both of my parents & I have forgiven all the men who have hurt me in my life…, it is between them & God.
My Prayers are for all of you hurting people out there & for your recovery that is right around the corner...
Bye now & be safe...
Signed by a Survivor
As Waters Passing By > Survivor Stories > The Fairytale